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this air i've cradled in me

by jacob wolos

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1.
rest shed your hallowed sorrows velvet nested stars share this air i’ve cradled in me a borrowed glimpse of far-off lands come be safe tonight my love / dream with countless eyes while i hold your pocketwatch
2.
whispers over glassen water amber shroud of contours steaming (the sun dips low) where once you washed anew (she tastes her reflection) where once you slipped into it all loom under a waxen sliver (hallucinating you) crane your neck to find crane your neck to find boon of sky soliloquized (dimpled corner of your lip) crane your neck to find crane your neck andromeda’s sarabande silent flue subsumed all i can see is your eyes all i can see is you quantize or quantify all i can see is you
3.
4.
whispers over glassen water amber shroud of contours steaming (the sun dips low) where once you washed anew (she tastes her reflection) where once you slipped into it all loom under a waxen sliver (hallucinating you) crane your neck to find crane your neck to find boon of sky soliloquized (dimpled corner of your lip) crane your neck to find crane your neck andromeda’s sarabande silent flue subsumed all i can see is your eyes all i can see is you quantize or quantify all i can see is you
5.
clinging to the warbled asphalt the chicory in bloom neither lost in rendezvous nor memory festooned the seasons heave in magnitude and i am here with you in wilkes-barre dawn's delayed arrival to listen in the silence to the babble on a stone our hemiola aquifer laid within the chapel green dialectic orchestra douses for the stream in wilkes-barre cradled underwater to glisten in the skylight naked and unknown
6.
motes above the drain name the many kinds of endings share harbor in the night gone by day’s beginning gone by day a fever runs its course indeterminate surroundings glimpsed briefly in the floodlight longer evenings than before restart, restore unknow, rescore the warmest color shines from the distance even shimmers shouts pulses through the bloodline but i know what i’m not for restart, restore unknow, rescore restart, restore unknow, rescore
7.
mosh it’s all we are it’s all we are mosh it’s all we are it’s all we are cacophony made smooth in the rolling irony made clear just for holding the sondheim ecstasy made for searching the sound of drunken grownups crying desperate into night hit just for love high, from above mosh it’s all we are it’s all we are pill harmony clashed un-to the owning laudlessly clutched in the closing we take the foreword tow despite we’re crowing in the matchmake we’re growing (and this time) i’m afraid i like the bruising and i won’t want to see it go we’re sharing glances and we’re trading blows there’s no silver lining shared between two stones (wrought heavy on a slender night) it’s the guilt of it all, in the end tender sessions missed (soft regressions through the fight) there’s no silver lining shared between two stones (wrought heavy on a slender night) there’s no silver lining (mosh, it’s all) we are, it’s all we are mosh it’s all we are it’s all we are
8.
9.
and there you were standing in the death parlor through sliding doors ajar onto the foyer faced away you sang long how you rang guitar slung low on your horizon looking outward porcelain to different lives of sorrow familiar buoys on the inky depths rain too spring for march too cold for growth tapped in time against antique cheeks the starlings sang along barefoot naked under linen button down a plea to time itself quiet on the promenade how it rarifies the corner of my mind tender you sang long how you rang out among the moments of my life (too spring for march too cold for growth) from the other room i cried (tapped in time against antique cheeks) from the other room i smiled that you might make it out alive
10.
far away 01:46
wild winds die at night for the beauty of the earth for the glory of the skies though the lapping of the sea may never cease love which from our birth over and around us lies we oriole tell our story on the storm we mourning dove huddle close tonight for warmth i'll clear a path for two proclaim to gather branches i'll scratch our name into the silence if you'll stay avow yourself the day
11.
home 02:40
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18.
painted memories of how you move flash before me like a may storm and you're six years old at your grandparents' home you hide underneath the dining room table and the way you move makes me wish i could too down on all fours crossing white horse's asphalt heading home not anymore swimming in your own piss and blood life's molasses and the way you move makes me wish i could too
19.
20.

about

it could be said that this is an album of extras and alternate takes. it could also be said that, as i write this, there is a squirrel soaking up late spring sunshine in my back yard, lying on the ground like a bear-skin rug. i believe that squirrel to be a squirrel, different than a rug, and similarly i believe this to be a simile, an arranged collection of unique moments from december 2018 to september 2020, captured during the making of "passenger," that asks peacefully for its own attention.

if "passenger" is my dreams, this album is some of the nights that so lovingly blanketed my eyes to make possible my dreaming.

credits

released June 21, 2021

a special thanks to all who have existed beside me during this time.
to name just a few:

claire brower
douglass lang
sam swisher
abigail swisher
brandon havard
nava waxman
brian matthews
the residents of the dreamscape
austin garner
daniel pinto
gauraang arora
john espino
michael tobin
sandra kellogg
stevee wolos

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about

jacob wolos Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

music about flowers; sometimes, those flowers are also ghosts.

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